RJC and "A Night to Shine"

When I heard about "A Night to Shine" I was skeptical. I had received an email from a friend who thought this would be something RJC may enjoy. It is an evening sponsored by The Tim Tebow Foundation when churches all over the world sponsor "Proms" for adults with special needs. One of the churches was in our area so I reached out to the Colonial Point Christian Church and found the information. I gave it some thought, talked to my husband about it, and while I had many reasons to hesitate I decided to go ahead and sign her up, then panic later as needed.  


The day of the Prom, I realize she really has no fancy dress to wear. About an hour before I need to be getting her ready, I dash in to a store, find a sparkly shirt that won't be itchy and lend her my long black skirt to wear. Luckily she does have shoes that aren't sneakers and happen to be black, so we are set there. We tell her she's going to a dance, and while I can't say she was overly excited, she was certainly quite willing to get in the car. It's an incredibly cold evening (this is mid-February in New England, after all) and when we go to park there are many cars already in the parking lot so we have a bit of a hike. When we get inside, it's packed. I turn to my husband and whisper "I give this about twenty minutes." Honestly, I was adding ten minutes to that number just to sound mildly optimistic.


There are smiling people at the door, and they show us where to sign in. Everyone is saying hi to us and it looks like they are well organized. I like an organized event, especially when it has to with RJC. Everyone is quite dressed up. Some prom goers are in tuxes and suits, some are in long gowns and fancy dresses. I feel a bit bad that I didn't put more time into the clothing issue but I still thought she looked adorable.  They offer to take her to do her hair and makeup but I'm feeling somewhat sure that that's not going to go over well so we skip it. I peek in and see some of the girls are enjoying that, and next door some boys are getting their shoes shined. We sign in RJC and they take us to meet her escort for the evening.


We meet her escort, (I'll call him "Tom" for purposes of this blog) who is a bit older than some of the other escorts I had seen. I find this reassuring. Tom introduces himself to all of us and takes me aside a bit and tells me he read the information I had sent in, then asks if there is anything else he should know. Are there phrases to use or does noise bother her? I am reassured again. I like when people ask me relevant questions about her. We chat a bit and he zips off to get her some water. I look around and take in what I can see. There is a DJ and people are dancing, there is karaoke and I see a photo booth. I've been told there are limo rides available. Tom comes back and I can't think of any reason to stall. They head into the event and we watch as they walk together down a red carpet. There are people on each side, and instead of clapping as we saw for previous guests, they are quietly waving. GENIUS! Reassurance once again that whatever training they did, Tom was surely listening. My husband and I can't see them anymore so we head to the area for parents and caretakers, two floors up. I glance at my watch and mentally assume we will have time for a quick snack before she will want us to take her home. I am already planning my apology to Tom. 


There are a few friends there and we say hi, get some refreshments and find a quiet room to chat. It's really quite nice. Time is ticking - no RJC - no Tom running to find us. I'm chatting with friends but constantly looking at my watch and paying attention to the sound of the elevator. Finally, one of my friends is going downstairs to have a look around and find her son to see how he's doing so I ask if she will look for RJC and let me know what's going on. I know that if she sees me she will want to leave - even if she is enjoying herself. A little while later my friend returns with pictures of a very content RJC and Tom.


I'm feeling a bit better about things now. We continue relaxing and chatting and though I'm still looking at my watch it is more in complete wonder than in panic. Finally, almost three hours later, it is time to go downstairs as the prom will be wrapping up.


We head down and there is still quite a crowd partying on the dance floor. But no RJC. We move on to the karaoke area and there is somebody singing. But no RJC. We go to the photo booth area and there is still a small line for people who want to get their pictures taken. But no RJC.


Hmmm. We ask a few volunteers if they know where we can find her. They point us back to the areas where we had just looked. I am getting concerned now. I ask a volunteer if there are other areas and she tells me there is a sensory room for anyone who needed a break. BINGO. We open the door and there she is, her feet on the arm of the chair playing with a fidget and sitting contentedly with Tom and two younger female volunteers. She is in no rush to leave and is, in fact, quite comfy. Tom tells us it was a low key evening for her and that she enjoyed herself. She didn't want to go out in the cold for the limo ride (she really doesn't know what a limo is and it was seriously, no kidding, cold that evening). She had on a tiara - because every participant was crowned the "King and Queen" of the prom. There were pictures of them from the photo booth and again, credit goes to Tom for helping her participate in everything. There had been no problems. She had snacks, she was happy, and on the way out she received a "goody bag." She looked exhausted which was no surprise since three hours anyplace is taxing for her but especially a new place with new people.


We got in the car to head home and from the back seat she says, "Thank you for the dance. It was fun." Mighty strong words for RJC. She only uses that script when she means it.


I am always so grateful to find activities for her that are age appropriate but also take the developmental issue into account. I am also so grateful when I come across an organization that thinks about my gal and her peers and truly work to add to the quality of their lives. This was a night that was truly about the participants and making them feel special. There was nothing asked in return. It was from the heart. I truly believe that this philosophy, this feeling of "you are special" created that evening, is why RJC did so well. This was an evening of fun and respecting the whole person for who they are. She may not understand the details but she is an excellent judge of authenticity.
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A new experience. This really was a night to shine.