It has been a while since I have updated the blog and about three months since RJC was vaccinated. The world is slowly opening up to her. We are still not an indoor with crowds sort of family and in general we prefer to be outdoors. RJC is very good with wearing her mask as at this point it has become routine for her, so going into stores for quick runs is now an option.
By far, the biggest bonus of her being vaccinated is that she is back to going to the farm! She's there 3 days per week, for 5(ish) hours a day. It seems that for her it's as though she had not been away for a year and a half. I think it was very helpful that J, the person who she spends her time with on the farm, was in touch with her via mail during these many months. She fell right back into her general routine and now there are some added opportunities to her day - music therapy and therapeutic horseback riding. She is quite tired at the end of these farm days, often falling asleep on our living room couch by 8:30PM!
For me, it's been really nice to know that she is out and about, socializing with somebody other than me, her dad, or her sister. It gives her new opportunities for communication, adds variety to her day, lets her expend some energy while getting exercise, and allows for some independence. This is the perfect setting for her. Supervised independence while learning and practicing new useful tasks keeps her brain sharp and her body moving. What better way to spend time? There are tasks that are done over and over again and she enjoys the routine of doing them.
The other two weekdays we are still together. We take walks (we are up to 1.5 miles - an occasional 2 mile walk), we take car rides, we bake and do art, we have visits with friends (still mostly outdoors) and she helps me with household chores. She loves to organize our refrigerator and food items in the closet. A huge bonus is that we have noticed improved communication skills since the pandemic started. Her vocabulary has expanded and her comprehension is a better (though still tricky and we really need to focus on making sure we find ways to help her understand). The one factor that seems to make a difference is that she seems very willing, even eager at times, to make an effort to engage with us. One of the biggest accomplishments (which I'd say is still 50/50 and sometimes we are unsure if she is responding accurately) is being able to answer "why" questions. For example, sometimes she will just burst out laughing. In the past when we asked "Why are you laughing?" she'd automatically reply "I am laughing because I'm silly." Now when she replies that way we say, "Try again" so she will stop, think, and slowly say something like, "Because Tina went school drop book." Then I reply, "Oh no! Tina went to school and dropped her books!" Then RJC says, "Yes! Tina went to school and dropped her books! Silly!" Of course it helps that I know she is talking about one of the characters from one of her Barney the Dinosaur videos. Still, with this general understanding of "why...because" she is now willing to try and communicate what she is thinking about and we can help her with her grammar. It's really amazing that we are here after 29 years. Amazing.
This pandemic has been a bit of a mixed blessing for her, which I realize sounds ridiculous and perhaps even a bit sad. But the reality is that she has adjusted to this new way of life which is of course very good because it is her reality, but also sad that she has given up even asking about many of her previously favorite activities. Perhaps it is the nature of her autism that makes it easy for her to be home, play on her iPad, obsess over her calendar, and enjoy hanging out with me, her dad, and her sister who comes by when she can. She does not ask to go to so many of the places she used to love. I do not remember the last time she asked to go to the Aquarium or to her favorite park. She does not appear to miss the Day Program she used to go to every day in the least. Maybe this has given us all an opportunity to rethink what she needs in her life and what makes her happy. Pre-Covid I felt like it was important for her to be with peers so we sent her to a program every day. While I do think that had its benefits (and practically speaking I was working at the time), I no longer feel like that it is necessarily a main goal (unless a really great opportunity was to present itself). I've always thought it was stressful for her to be with groups of people and I do believe without that daily stress she is more relaxed and happier. If I have learned anything in the last year and a half, I have learned to be open to change and go with the flow - because we never know what is to come.
I am so very grateful that we were able to get her vaccinated and open up her world a bit again.
These are still crazy times for sure but I do feel as though our gal is a generally happy gal.
And that makes me a happy mom.
