While RJC spent a week at camp this week and my husband and I had a vacation alone, we truly enjoyed every moment. One of the things we also did, was to talk about what was working and not working for us as a family. We both agreed that one area we really needed to work on was finding time to be together - alone.
We had been able to get a few hours here and there by ourselves, but anything more than that was simply not happening. We were talking about the obstacles involved and remembered that we had sent RJC for a few weekends at camp when they offer specific weekends during the non-summer months. She had even spent a New Year's Eve there. We decided to look at the possibility when we returned home from our vacation.
We found that there are camp overnights being offered, Saturday mornings through late afternoon Sunday. There is also transportation available which saves us a forty-five minute drive each way. It also gives her the opportunity to experience traveling with friends (while being supervised) and an additional opportunity for independence. We looked at the overnights available and the themes that went with each overnight and chose the ones we thought she would truly enjoy.
Seven weekends in all.
She has now attended three of the overnights and has been doing well. She is quite willing to get on the bus and has been reunited with a friend or two from her school days. She is sleeping and when she wakes up quite early, she is quietly waiting for the rest of her group to wake up. We send food along because she is quite fussy, but we have asked the camp to offer their food in the hopes she will try it. So far, she hasn't accepted their offerings (we have the same issue during summer camp). She participates in the various activities and enjoys bringing home her projects.
We have always been hesitant to tell her about summer camp too far in advance and we have found that even with the weekends, two days ahead of time seems to be sufficient. The first overnight she seemed a bit agitated but still got on the bus quite willingly. The last two times we told her, she said "ok" and that was that!
While RJC is gone, we've been using our time well. On her first overnight we were able to meet our cousins for lunch. We hadn't seen them in probably ten years. It was such a wonderful way to spend a few hours and a true treat to visit with them. On her second overnight we went to visit friends who had recently moved from our town. We spent hours just chatting away (and enjoying good food) and it felt so nice to have the time to do that. This past overnight we stayed home. We went to the movies for the first time since Covid started! We also got a few errands out of the way that we simply could not have done easily had RJC been with us. As odd as this may sound, just being in our home, experiencing quiet for extended periods of time, watching tv without subtitles, choosing where and when to eat, sleeping with all of the lights out...it took a bit getting used to, but we were able to relax and enjoy each other's company while knowing she was happy and busy.
Oh! And every time she has gone...we napped. Yep - catching up on sleep and reveling in the quiet was a huge bonus. It is also a reminder that we are getting older - but reality is reality.
We are not yet sure what we will do when she heads to camp for her overnight in December. It is fun to consider the possibilities. Obviously, we cannot go far or plan anything extravagant, but we are ok with that. It really is about spending some uninterrupted time together and for her to have the opportunity to get comfortable being places without us and learning to communicate and have fun with both her fellow campers and the camp staff.
It is really a win-win. She gains experience and independence, and we gain time to be a couple.
