RJC loves the Aquarium.
Early on in her diagnosis, we decided we would be a "normal" family and do what other families do. Well, we didn't really decide. We just assumed. When she was officially diagnosed, our other daughter was 6 months old. We were feeling fairly overwhelmed and we were also completely and totally clueless as to what to expect or what was to come. In some ways our naivete was a good thing. It never really occurred to us not to do things that we would have done without her diagnosis. We did learn quickly that our "normal" would not be the same as others we saw, but we also thought we could just make a few adjustments and we'd be on our way. For example, we wanted to be able to go to a restaurant but RJC was a bolter (and in her younger days she was incredibly quick), a screamer, a thrower, a...well, you get the picture. Now imagine going to a restaurant with her along with an infant. So we started going at "off" times. Dinner at 3, for example. It was slow going and we have some incredibly memorable restaurant stories (if you see me, ask me about the raccoon or the cane story) but we did it. Because we did it, we can now go to dinner at a regular dinner time, she is able to wait for a table, and she can order for herself (kind of - we usually have to translate a bit).
Why do I share this? Today, we had the best trip to the Aquarium ever. I mean, ever. We have been going there for years and I'm so glad that this was one of those experiences we assumed we could do. I am fairly certain we started these trips when RJC was five and NMC was two. NMC was in a stroller and RJC was in a harness (we used that thing for years and endured quite a few odd looks and even a few nasty comments, but it was much better than not going anyplace or having her face on a milk bottle as a missing child. But I digress).
When we started these visits, we would drive an hour and fifteen minutes each way to be at the Aquarium for barely an hour. We'd then go to a restaurant and order her favorites in her special way (soup with 6 packages of crackers, for example). She pretty much ran through the outdoor part of the Aquarium, barely stopping to focus on anything. When she did stop, we would need to pick her up to see and she'd always want to lean much too dangerously over the rails. Of course, we wouldn't let her and then the screaming would start. As for the actual Aquarium - the indoor part where the fish were - we pretty much ran through it. Less than a minute, if even that.
As the years went by, we were able to get her to stay with us a little easier (lots of training with Applied Behavior Analysis, thank you very much). She would have her favorite spots to visit. She loved the Sea Lion show. She liked to visit the penguins, and slowly over the years she developed a tolerance for the inside of the Aquarium. She'd walk pretty quickly through but there were some places we could count on her to stop. She was intrigued by the jelly fish, enjoyed watching the sting rays and turtles. Interestingly, as her language emerged she was more interested in our visits. I assume it is because they were now making more sense to her as she knew what things were and could share them with us. We would then go to that same restaurant over the years and she had her favorite waiter, Adam. Pretty sure she was his favorite customer too! He would always squat down, call her by name, and talk directly to her. He had a gift. Adam knew her order well enough so that we could let her order by herself and we knew he would get her exactly what she meant to order.
So this brings us to today. RJC, her dad, and I, arrived at the Aquarium and needed to renew our membership. RJC waited patiently next to us. We went inside and immediately went to the Sea Lion show which was packed. Not a problem. We found seats and she sat happily, scripting quietly and asking me some questions about her upcoming schedule (pretty standard "conversation" for us). Sat through the entire show applauding at the appropriate places and sometimes squealing things like "good job!" and "look at that!" Again, at the appropriate times. Next stop was the 4-D movie. She held her glasses until we were inside, just like I told her. She waited 20 minutes quite nicely until we were let into the theater. I was personally amused by her animation during the movie but I'm not sure some of the other adults appreciated it. Nevertheless, she was hooting and hollering at all the appropriate moments - perhaps a little too loud, especially for somebody her age - but she was having fun and wasn't hurting anyone so it was all good in my mind. She especially liked the "snow" that was falling. We then did the outside tour of the Aquarium and I was amazed at how much time she took. There is an area where there is a large pond on both sides of a low bridge and she was looking for frogs. She pointed them out to us (trust me, this is a BIG deal) and we were able to point some out to her. She even tried to follow our fingers to see where we were pointing. She wanted to go see the penguins next. This exhibit has penguins outside then you can go downstairs and inside to see them swimming underwater. She said something like "Cooler down to see penguins please" and we went inside where she and her dad stood by the window for at least 15 minutes watching them swim around. We left there and went inside the Aquarium where she walked from one exhibit to another pointing out the fish and mentioning their color or their name. She was incredibly animated and went from each exhibit to the next, completely focused on what she was seeing. She would not be rushed. She had a game plan and was sticking to it. Last stop was the gift shop. In the car ride there, she announced that she wanted to buy a cap which had both my husband and me perplexed. She never wore anything on her head. Still, she made a straight dash to the hats, chose a red one, then got her snack and was happy to stand in line for about 10 minutes. We left the Aquarium with her wearing her new hat!
Next stop, off to the restaurant. We walked inside and noticed it had a different set up. No table service anymore. Then we noticed - it was not longer the same restaurant. Yikes. Adam was gone. Double Yikes. Long story short, the Manager had worked at the previous restaurant and was able to get us through some tricky logistics and she was perfectly well behaved.
On the way home, she was quite tired. By the time we arrived at home, we had been gone for six hours. Six. Hours. And they were six wonderful hours that she was happy and engaged. I've told my husband many times that if our family could live on an isolated island I would be happier. Not sure that is the actual case anymore. Over the years, we have found our niche. We have our routines, we have our places, we have our lives that are enriched by all sorts of surprising experiences. If I were to be totally honest, I'd say that even the less positive experiences are still enriching as we all grow from them. I could do without them, mind you, but I will take what I have. And I think my dream of an isolated island may be a dream of the past. Because really. It's not what I think we need to do anymore. We can figure this out. We'll just follow RJC's lead.
And who knows what the next visit to the Aquarium will bring!
