This week was not what we expected. This past winter we had signed RJC up for two weeks at her overnight camp and my husband was able to get vacation for both of these weeks (practically unheard of)! We were excited because these are the only two weeks we have when it's just the two of us,
We had started to research vacation possibilities and had finally settled on where we wanted to go and found a hotel. At this point, the virus was in its very early stages. Our state was not yet sheltered in place, not many people were wearing masks, and all businesses were still open. We were, however, beginning to hearing more about it and decided to wait and see what would happen. It was just a few short weeks later that things began to explode quickly and we put our plans on hold. Though still hopeful, as the weeks went on it became obvious that our gal was not going to camp and we were definitely not going on vacation.
Finally a Date Night:
It has now been four months since RJC and I have been together at home. Other than my once a week grocery shopping trip we are literally together. She cannot be unsupervised and we are not comfortable going places as she has not mastered wearing a mask for more than 15-20 minutes (though we are working on it). This week we asked our younger daughter, NMC, if she is comfortable watching her sister for a few hours. My husband decided to take one of his two weeks vacation and the idea of having just a few hours together, by ourselves, was just too good to pass up. She immediately said yes and lo and behold, we had a date night.
Now this may not sound like the biggest, fanciest date on the planet but to me? I may as well have been Cinderella at the Ball. First stop? Coffee! The coffee shop we hoped to go to had already closed so we went to our regular standby. We found a parking spot in the shade and sipped coffee while chatting. Uninterrupted. We mostly discussed the future, especially RJC's future. We had a great deal of "what if" situations and eventually settled on the fact that we could not make plans now because things were changing on a daily basis. We discussed the fact that whatever we decided would be for her benefit and not for ours. We would not necessarily do what is easiest but what we think would be most meaningful to her. It is somewhat scary to think about how much she still depends on us to make every life decision for her. It has been 28 years and it will be forever. Forever that we are making decisions for her based on what we believe she wants, she enjoys, and allows her the best quality of life. Honestly. That is a huge amount of pressure. It is also what a parent does - for as long as their child needs. We concluded the conversation by realizing that right now decisions cannot be made much in advance as things change in our world on a daily basis. Still, it was nice to have expressed, out loud, philosophically what we both wanted - for her to be happy, safe and healthy.
From there we were off to husband's eye doctor appointment. I waited in the car and had a conversation online with a good friend about our girls. It was nice to be able to do so without interruption. I could think before I wrote. When we were finished, I read. It was quiet in my car. There was literally no noise other than my own breathing. I started to drift off from my reading and just sat with nothing in my brain. It was an odd feeling but I was starting to (gasp) relax. He came back to the car and we were off to...
Dinner! We chose a restaurant where we could never bring RJC and where we could eat outdoors. We checked out the area first and noticed that the servers were all properly wearing masks and gloves. We looked to see if there was an outdoor table with plenty of space. This was our first time eating out and it was pretty strange. Once we were settled, we were just so happy to chat. We chatted about all sorts of things - but not about our kids. Sometimes we just sat quietly and appreciated each other's company. It was lovely. There was a nice breeze and awesome company. We enjoyed it so much we checked in with NMC to see if she needed to get home or if we could continue our date. With the green light to continue, we went to...
An outdoor mall! It was not busy at all. We could walk without our masks and when we got to the one spot where we saw more people than we had hoped, we simply turned around. We zipped into one store for something I needed for our house and then - CHOCOLATE! The store was going to close shortly but we made it! Hubby was happy with his dark chocolate and I was thrilled with my large chocolate pretzel with small peanut butter cups on it. We found a bench to sit on, across from a restaurant that was playing mellow music through speakers. We may have snuggled a bit, sitting close together with his arm around me and just - being us.
All good things must end, right? So it was time to head home. We chatted a while with NMC before she needed to leave. RJC had a great evening and was perfectly content to hang out with her sister. NMC brought her dinner over and they did some baking together. It reminded me that we need to find ways to have some sense of normalcy when we can. NMC said she'd be happy to come over more often and stay with her sister so we can go out, even if just for a walk or to run an errand together.
So, though our plans were interrupted, in their place was this wonderful time together. I wasn't two weeks, it was four hours. It did not matter. It was exactly what we all needed. Hubby and I needed time together and some quiet. RJC needed time with her sister and enjoyed her time without me hovering around.
This virus has changed life drastically for us and so many, but today? Though our plans were interrupted we found a new normal. Date night may look different but it is just about being together. And so we were.
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