Still Looking.

Still looking for that right program.  Thought I should post an update since it's been a bit of time since I've updated.

I've seen quite a few adult programs over the past two months.  I have found that this experience is very difficult to blog about.  First, I would never want to say anything negative about a program since things I may find negative for my child, another parent will not. I would never want to be responsible for a parent not viewing a program due to my comments.  Our children are all different and have different needs.  Second, it's beyond emotional.  I cannot even begin to explain the stress and responsibility I feel about making this decision for my girl.  It equals many sleepless nights and many crazy days trying to juggle work and this hunt which has become like a full-time job.  It is not fun.  Just sayin'.

There are two programs that I would consider at this point.  Neither is making me jump up and down and that worries me.  I worry that I'm considering programs that have the "absence of bad" rather than looking for a great program.  That doesn't seem like the best method when going about this. It's not fair to RJC in the end.    

The big question...what to do, what to do?  The good thing is that I am not in this alone.  My husband is very involved and he wisely said something to the effect of  "No decision is final.  If something isn't good we can change it."  Well, yeah.  I just want to avoid the "if something isn't good" part from the start. 

Part of the problem is that all of these programs look great in writing and even sound good philosophically.  We have met many incredibly dedicated professionals for which I am grateful.  The day-to-day reality of the programs we are seeing is what makes me question things.  Down time, crowded space, clients that I cannot be able to envision RJC spending her day with, due to differences in age, time spent on being busy with activities that fill up time but do not seem to have a goal of developing a lifeskill.  Did I mention down time?  Ug. 

I honestly don't know how to make this decision.  I'm very glad we started this process early in the year.  Still gives us time.  What I REALLY wish was that there were tons of great programs out there and our decision would be difficult because there were so many great programs we didn't know which to choose.  Sigh.  In truth, this is not the problem.  That is a societal issue but apparently not one that will be solved any time shortly.  With all of the younger ones who will be in the adult system in the next five to ten years I sure hope it becomes a societal issue that people care about.  For now, it's just my personal problem.

So...still looking.