I am not always a fan of change and yet another "new beginning" was not on my list. However, things were not going well at RJC's current program. It doesn't matter why. We needed to make a change and find a new program. It had been in the back of my mind for a few months that this might need to happen, but I really wanted to make this work. I wanted her to be happy and thriving. She had just left her beloved school when she graduated in June, started a new program that didn't work out so we already had to make an adjustment, but things were still not going well. Her behaviors were escalating at home and I was getting notes and phone calls from the program that were concerning me. I knew things weren't going great but I kept thinking...it'll get better. In truth, not every program fits every person. It was not my gal's "fault" nor was it the program's "fault.' This was just not a proper fit and it was becoming very difficult. Finally, there was the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back" and I was on the phone to my Caseworker. He immediately had a program in mind so I made the call and the wheels were in motion.
Hubby and I went to visit, along with our Caseworker and the Behavior Analyst who was now working with us at home. We went for the tour and asked a slew of questions. I was pleased to realize that we were speaking the same language - there were terms we used that we all understood. There was an underlying philosophy to this program that I was happy with...so we went for it. It meant that hubby and I both needed to adjust our work schedules and that I would be spending over an hour in the car before I finally arrived at work but it didn't matter. A change needed to be made and we all just needed to deal. The wheels of change tend to move quite slowly, as there is an approval process that includes budgetary issues, so it was a very long month before all was approved and she could make the move.
Days 1-3 were great. Then came Day 4. Not so great. In fact, it was really awful. However, what WAS great was the communication around the incident. It was immediate, it was thoughtful, it was about problem solving and not blaming. Communication centered around what steps might be helpful in the future and our input as parents was not only encouraged but welcomed. While I could have done without the situation, I was also reassured that when a situation comes up, it will be handled quickly and professionally.
We've now made it through 10 days and the last five days, all communication has been positive. She is obviously happier at home which is a huge relief. She's laughing and being silly and using her language again. She has clearly communicated that she likes her new program. The note that came home on Friday expressed that they were grasping her communication style (it's not always words, there are lots of nonverbal cues that can be tricky) and that they really enjoyed having her in the program. They explained that she could now get her own little animal to take care of and suggested a hamster as they noticed she was drawn to the one they already had there. Wow. An active observation that leads to a suggestion. How cool. As a side note, I will say that the "animal care" part of this program was something I was immediately drawn to. It's very, very cool.
And so...sometimes a new beginning is necessary. It's scary, but when it's the only thing to do then it's what needs to be done. I know I tend to procrastinate because it's the fear of jumping out of the fire and into the frying pan possibility. On top of that, change is inherently scary. Nevertheless, there comes a point when, if it's the best thing to do for your child, it's what you do.
Here's to another new beginning...
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