Kind and Thoughtful

 This morning was a complicated one. Every Sunday we go to do our weekly grocery shopping. As there was a big winter storm headed this way, we did most of our shopping on Saturday. We saved a few things to get today, Sunday, so RJC would still be in her routine and so that she had the opportunity to be out of the house before being snowed in.

We got to the grocery store quite early, as the news showed that the snow would not begin until 11 AM. 

Side note: the snow came earlier than expected and it was snowing when we left the store. A reminder that Mother Nature does her thing when she's ready.

Back to our story - the store was not particularly crowded but there were other customers there and only one register had an Associate working. I am not a huge fan of self-checkout and while I will use it occasionally for a very small order, we had a few items, so we decided to wait in line. 

The line was moving along but too slowly for RJC who was getting antsy and loud. That happens much less than it used to, but I think she was feeling anxious, probably picking up on my own anxiety about the snowstorm. So, she would yell, then hold her hands over her ears and say, "too loud." In general, she says that because she knows she shouldn't be yelling and she's self-correcting. She will get into a cycle of yelling and self-correcting, then apologizing to me. She will do this quite a few times and eventually, once I have reassured her enough times, saying "It's ok, RJC" she will calm down. So here we were, stuck in the screaming cycle.

A few minutes later, RJC calmed down. Shortly after, an employee at the store told me that she went to the front desk and asked them to lower the music, as she thought it may be bothering RJC.

How kind and thoughtful is that!  

I was so touched and impressed that she recognized this behavior and acted to shut down a possible trigger.  For sure, sometimes when music is too loud, it does trigger this behavior. Though I am not sure that was the case in this situation, I simply thanked her and reinforced her kindness. Though it may or may not have been the case in this particular situation, clearly it could be in a different situation and//or with a different individual. She also let me know that any time we were in this store, if the music is too loud, we could go to the front desk and ask them to turn the volume down.

It is people like this, who cross our paths, that we are grateful for. It is complicated enough to be out and about and never be completely sure what will be.  To have somebody proactively come up with a possible solution to a difficult situation, instead of making a judgement or doing the "stare and glare" that we have experienced more often than we should have, is such a relief. Truly a load off of our shoulders.

I hope you all are enjoying the day wherever you are, and that if the time should come that you need a bit of grace, it will be granted. 

AND you will recognize it for what it is.

A Last Minute Change of Plans

We live in an area where winter includes snow. This means that sometimes we are stuck indoors, as driving in freezing rain or snowy weather is not comfortable for me. I do not even like being a passenger. Unfortunately, the ramifications are that we may have something scheduled that we cannot attend, requiring us to cancel or change the date. My original plan was to try to put off the decision until I saw what the weather would actually be as we got closer to the time we needed to leave the house.

It was quite a long morning of back-and-forth conversation, with me using terms like, "maybe" and "let's wait." RJC came to sit next to me on the couch where she could focus soley on me and not be distracted by her iPad. This was a very intense exchange. Eventually I could see she had gone from trying to understand, to feeling agitated as she was moving closer to me, and at that point I realized that it was kinder to simply cancel and reschedule. For her, even when I had her look out the window and I called her attention to the snow piling up, the terms "maybe" and "let's wait" were too abstract.

I give her huge credit for not getting loud and that she did not hit her arms or face. She was really trying to understand and trying to get me to understand her. 

I told her she could pick a new date, and she chose one in the summer. That took me aback for a moment as I thought she would want to go as soon as possible. Then it dawned on me that in the summer there is no chance of snow, and my gal was not going to take the chance of being disappointed again due to winter weather. 

RJC is both logical and smart, and it is always an amazing pleasure to watch her figure things out on her own and handle change and disappointment in a more appropriate way than in the past.